I do not believe this is a pressing issue in the Christian community considering a lot of other issues in our world, but I do believe it is important and worth discussing -- especially since this is the time of year when some of my Christian siblings are reminding everyone to be modest in social media posts, while other followers of Christ are posting pictures of themselves in bikinis on the beach. The tone is not meant to be judgmental, simply interrogative, because modesty IS a relative thing. I want to collect perspectives from other believers, women AND men. And I hope we all think a little deeper. Please read it all. I will probably say some things you do not expect (and some you do). What standard shall we hold to?
In high school I was on the swim team for one year. Many mornings before school I went to the city's Swimplex to practice. On one of these mornings, while I was swimming laps, after I reversed myself with an underwater turn to go back down the lane, I saw something that surprised me in the lane next to me: a lot of fabric had just landed in the pool, swirling, as the large Mennonite woman in the lane beside me gathered her bearings for her morning exercise. For many reasons this is something that I come back to through the years. How impractical to wear a long dress with lots of undergarments as she swims through the water, BUT how beautiful that she was so committed to her standards of faith that she didn't let practicality or ease change her dress? (And, let's be honest, she got a REALLY GOOD workout wearing all that heavy, wet fabric as she swam her laps.) I have so much respect for that woman.
I have grown up in a Christian group that wears the same clothes as society around us. In the southern United States, though, this group has a pretty strict -- but not absolute -- dress code to regulate modesty as fashions change. At church camp and the private Christian college I attended, shorts and skirts could not be more than three inches above the knee, no spaghetti straps, no cleavage, no tight-fitting clothes, etc.
Moving to a big city after college, it became apparent pretty quickly that modesty was not the same to all believers. The shorts and skirts are shorter, and I've seem more back skin than before. And, honestly, my own modesty has adjusted some.
So WHAT do we hold to? What is our motivation with the clothes we wear? I really think the answer lies somewhere in the heart of our motivation.
A friend took my son and I to the pool the other day. She and I were wearing our skirted swimsuits, and I had a T-shirt on over my top the whole time. We feel that it shows respect to our Christian brothers to reveal less of our skin, and it shows respect for ourselves not to display ourselves in a cheap way. (If you have no problem with bikinis, and I just lost you because I am a prude, please keep reading. I am moving along my thoughts, and I have others.) My friend told me about this cool video (which a lot of you have probably seen) where this woman showed the science in a man's brain when he sees a naked or almost naked woman. The brain scans show that areas of his brain controlling empathy and those other good characteristics totally shut down. A typical man, even one of the best, sees an object, not a person, when he walks by a woman in a bikini at the beach. How do you feel about that? Especially if you're married? Especially if your gorgeous teenage daughter is at the pool in two very skinny strips of cloth?
Another thing that is important to remember, especially for me, because I am very concerned with having a nicely exercised body -- and all the pride and vanity that accompanies that -- is our motivation for what we wear. The friend I mentioned above is pregnant, and so am I, so we don't really feel attractive right now. It is really easy to hide under a skirt and T-shirt at the pool when you feel heavy or gross. And it is also really easy to gripe at attractive women with airbrushed bodies for making us feel inferior. (Remember, no one makes me feel inferior but me.) As much as I hate seeing a woman in a bikini (Seriously, I would rather see a 300-pound woman in a bikini than a fit woman in one.), IF I actually thought I looked good in a bikini, and I actually had skin that tanned, I would like to wear a bikini. People would see me, envy me, worship me -- all really righteous reasons to do something, right?! Me, me, me. (rollin' my eyes)
Reading the Bible raises questions too. I am not going to write out the verses here. What about the reasons a woman should cover her head in 1 Corinthians 11? That chapter confuses me like none other, and I know it is because I am uneducated about ancient cultures... but one of the reasons given for a woman to keep her head covered is the angels (verse 10). Whether Paul is talking about fabric or long hair, angels are eternal, so I am confused about whether I am distressing angels because I don't wear hats when I worship... and because I have really short hair -- because the culture I am in doesn't see those as issues. (I would appreciate educated answers about this verse.)
And what about other cultures? Some women in African tribes wear no covering over their breasts, but every inch of their legs is covered because legs are the sexual icons to their men.
I could go on and on, but I will leave you with this:
1 Timothy 2: 9 instructs women not to wear fancy or pretty things to worship, but to adorn ourselves "with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God."
The answer lies somewhere in our motivation and where the desires of our hearts lie. Do we love God and people before we care about meaningless praise to our own materiality? I do not think this verse is saying we must dress plainly to please God, but that we first consider how our dress affects our love and service to God and others. I believe it really has to be a personal answer. I hope we consider others in our decisions with our love. But I also hope we give each other the benefit of the doubt and pay attention only to what we are doing, as we encourage each other in truth and kindness, instead of griping at others.
[added later: After I shared this initially, someone shared a link to another post in the comments section. This other post covers a lot of really important issues in a much more efficient way than I did, if you want to take the time to read it. http://www.qideas.org/blog/modesty-i-dont-think-it-means-what-you-think-it-means.aspx ]
This is a great post.
ReplyDeleteI think this article is somewhat relevant to what your are discussing here. I think it's well written, though it may not address all of your questions. Hope it helps more than confuses.
(http://www.qideas.org/blog/modesty-i-dont-think-it-means-what-you-think-it-means.aspx)
Also, I feel obligated to address her neuroscience claims. While I strongly appreciate Rey's attempts to use scholarly work in her address, the above article makes some critical observations that she did not mention about the studies cited in the "Evolution of the Swimsuit". I would like to add some important points as well. First, be wary of neuroscience studies' often unspoken assumptions: (1) That this neurological reaction is natural, innate, unlearned, and (2) That is is unchangeable. We know the brain has "plasticity" - that is flexible, changing, and a learning machine. We cannot assume the neurological reactions discussed by Rey are inborn, genetic, unlearned, or unchangeable. This has implications with respect to how much control men and women have over their minds. More over it draws attention to how much influence parents, friends, communities, and culture have on DEVELOPING a relative standard of sexuality and modesty as well as CHANGING our neurological reactions to different sexual stimuli. These assumptions often go unspoken, but making them visible changes the conversation in an important way. Neuroscientific data is not the end of the discussion on this topic and should be interpreted with caution.