Love Your Neighbor (As You Love Your Children)

"But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it." -- Matthew 13:16 & 17

Every time we go to the grocery store, I wish I'd brought my 3-year-old's Lightning McQueen sunglasses and my baby's sunhat, because stepping out into the bright sunshine after shopping inside a huge building for an hour, their little eyes are shocked from the transition from dim to bright.

Crossing the bridge from childhood into adulthood, and then another into parenthood, has been like stepping out of a dimly lit building into the brightness of a hot afternoon sun for me. As a child, it was easy to see the world in black and white, right and wrong, good and evil, because I knew I was utterly dependent upon my parents for survival. I needed to be fed and clothed and cleaned. I needed to follow. I needed to be guided. I needed to be disciplined. I needed to be encouraged. 

And then I stepped into the big, bright world, where everyone else was equally as blinded by the Truth to which we are still adapting, based on our individual histories and perspectives. As we search for the correct sunglasses to help us see or cover our brows with hands to shade our eyes, we are learning to care for ourselves and get along with others -- and sometimes we're just annoyed that our vision is irritated by the adjustment process.

Stories of people mistreating each other are not difficult to find. At first, it is easy to scoff and judge and wonder how someone could be so small-minded and selfish... but we each have our limited perspectives. I have my limited perspective. My prayer over the past few months has been for God to open my eyes, my ears, my heart to how he sees people so that I never become blinded by hate or superiority and miss HIS glory. 

Parenthood has helped my heart muscle find places I didn't know existed before. They ache. But it's the good pain, the kind that indicates growth. The food court in our mall is a place where I have stood still in lines many times (either at Panda Express or the merry-go-'round). Fortunately, we live in an ethnically diverse city, so while I am waiting I become overwhelmed by God's creativity. The rainbow of colors, the puzzle-board of shapes, the storybooks of hearts are all passing by, and I try to appreciate the individuality of each, and I am brought to tears right there in that public space for the love I feel for each different person as he or she is a child of God. 

I say this as one at the beginning of a journey, as one who just took her first step into the sunlight outside the store: I am beginning to see my children's faces on all the people I meet, feel their hearts inside all of those beings. I do not have this even close to figured out, but I am beginning to see as I love my children with a genuine, deep love how I am called to love others. I want my babies to be loved, to be fulfilled and guided and shaped into the individuals God created them to be. I want that for every person. Sure, I have heard all of my life how I am supposed to love others, but the ways to do it have been shadowed by ignorance, selfishness, laziness, fear... still are-- but lessening in light of Jesus Christ's glory.

People who have not been around children often are interesting to observe when put in a "babysitting" position. Many have disdain for all.of.the.energy and little understanding of how patience and creativity are necessary to each child's nature for effective discipline. If only it were as easy as tuning out the irritation and inconveniences, if only it were as easy as snapping one's fingers to control an attitude or behavior, if only it were as easy as every child reacting the same way to the same things...

The easy way is rarely the best way.

Children require relationships and connections to thrive. Getting to know them, moment by moment, day in and day out...

learning what touches their hearts in which ways, 

supporting them as their hearts grow in courage as they discover their weaknesses and strengths,

teaching them with every possible example through words and actions, 

remembering to see the world through their young eyes as we look into their eyes as often as possible...

Man, it is a high calling--an active, ever-living-and-learning-and-evolving calling. One that does not give up.

Adults are more complicated, but we are the same as children. We each have our different likes and dislikes, wounds and scars, disappointments and hopes. I am learning to remember this as I interact with y'all. Sometimes it is harder when I am annoyed or appalled. But YOU are each as precious as the chubby-cheeked, innocent babies I find it easy to love. 

"Love your neighbor as yourself." I am not changing the command from Lord Jesus with the title of this post. I just want to help us find the meaning of it in this world of distorted love. 

What is love? Do you love yourself? Do you even know yourself? What do you like? What are your strengths? Your weaknesses? What healing do you need? What is your biggest dream (what you want to be when you "grow up")?

How can you love others if you don't even know yourself? How can you love others if you don't take the time to appreciate where they come from and where they are headed? How can you have anything to give others if you don't take care of yourself? Love is not a pain killer. Love is not a self-hater. Love is not a controller. Love does not give up!

Love is a journey. We're all walking at some point along its path. 

1 Corinthians 13 defines love beautifully. Read it with fresh eyes. Act it with a cleansed heart. 

Love is patient.
Love is kind
Love does not envy.
Love does not boast. (Even if it has a good reason.)
It is not arrogant.
It is not rude.
Love does not insist on its own way.
It is not irritable.
It is not resentful.
Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing.
Love rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
Love never ends.

Most of us say we would die to save those we love. Which is good. Jesus said so and did so. But the challenge for building those sacrificial muscles is in the everyday sacrifices we make as we lay down our lives while we're living with those we love. 

When we stop everything to play pretend with our child, instead of browsing Facebook or texting people who aren't even in the room...
When we help our spouse with a chore, without grumbling...
When we get that sleep we need (if just for a night), instead of staying up late to eat cheeseballs and watch comedies...
When we stop to have an eye-to-eye conversation with someone we love, instead of getting our chores done...
When we choose to redirect envious thoughts into complimentary ones...
When we calm our irritated spirits before reacting with angry words or actions...
When we stop our negative thoughts and say encouraging words to one another...
When we stop our reactionary opinions (based on prejudices and limited perspectives) and instead find a way to serve someone different than we are, no matter how repulsive...

When we want to rant against our enemies, even when we have good reason, and instead we calm our spirits and seek God's answer and God's glory in the devastation of evil... and pray and wait.

So many little ways to let love overcome hate in our everyday moments exist. Let's find them.

 "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known." -- 1 Corinthians 13:11 & 12