Tomorrow is the day! I will wake before the sun (if I sleep at all with these butterflies inside me) to prepare myself to drive an hour and a half for my first official race.
In high school I swam with a school team for a year. I adored the hard workouts for practice. I would go before school on my own, and then I would go after school with teammates, all because I loved the challenge, endorphins, and success of training my body hard.
But the meets... Y'all, I hated the races with every fiber of my being. The anxiety I felt from the preparations and the travel and waiting for my event and the dread of people watching me (not that anyone other than my mom could even tell who I was in my swim cap and goggles, if she even could) -- all of those things were terrible to me. But I never hated practice (other than the first 5 a.m. jump into the cold pool). I looked forward to it. I am even missing it as I recall it now.
That was 13 years ago, so hopefully whatever maturity I have gained since will lessen the dread of race-day jitters as it compares to running now.
Today I feel positively excited I get to test my fitness and my mentality tomorrow. I have been a runner since before my swim days (except for a few interspersed seasons where I did not run). Like swimming, I could run all day every day if time and muscles allowed. I love training... but competition?
This season of running began after our 20-month-old's birth. I feel almost ready for the half-marathon I am doing in eight weeks because of the success of my long runs (7 to 10 miles since the beginning of July)... so my husband has been encouraging me to hold back this week before my first race, which is "just a 5K". I ran 7+ miles on Wednesday... and, if not for him, I would foolishly have done that this morning, instead of the 2.4 he advised me to do to keep my legs ready and strong for tomorrow, since this is my first race. It's not like I am a seasoned marathoner I read about on Twitter daily. THIS IS DRIVING ME BANANAS!!!! I want to go FARTHER! But I am thankful Coach tempers my inability to separate events and seasons and abilities in my "I should be able to do and have it ALL RIGHT NOW" mind.
Pre-race questions that only experience can answer: How will I follow the pace my body needs in context of all the other racers? Will I go too fast bc I am hyped up, and then burn out? Or will I go too slow because I am afraid of going too fast? Will I get my goal time, even with the inflatable obstacle course at this particular race? Should finishing be my only goal for the first race?
We'll see!
Father-God, thank You for the opportunity and ability I have in this season to run. It blesses me very much, which I hope carries into blessing those close to me. Please help me be kind to myself no matter how tomorrow's race goes. I want walk peacefully and joyfully with Spirit. Please open my heart to whomever and whatever You want me to experience throughout this running jig. In Jesus, thank You.
No comments:
Post a Comment