I tried to re-vamp my blog during our baby's nap time. Another day I will have to figure out how to get personalized photos in the place I want them AND the size in which I want them. I feel rushed because who knows when I'll hear that waking cry. I find it hard to concentrate, especially with technology.
Running is therapy for me. I have always heard people say they need to do This or That "to clear my head." Well, running clears my head. It gets all the little crazy ducks of worry and fear and control-freakishness in their proper rows so I can continue in confidence and order. It smooths out all the wrinkles my thoughts trip over all day long.
A week from today I will run my first official race. I have run off-and-on since high school, but I have never been brave enough to run a race. Why do I need to run a race if the treadmill or the local trail is enjoyable for me? I need to run a race to overcome my fear of connection. I want to be connected to other runners, and I want to see how far and fast God wants me to go. So I am really excited! I have increased my six-mile runs up to ten miles for the past six weeks in continued preparation for a half-marathon in mid-October. This first race will be a 5K, and I am driving to another state by myself for the experience. I am the type who needs to get my feet wet in solitude, so I eagerly anticipate the day of reaching new heights with just God and myself. No distractions. Very spiritual for me... which may sound weird to some. Oh, well.
Then a friend and I have some shorter races this fall too... and I am really excited to experience the race atmosphere and warm up to it with a buddy after getting my feet wet alone next week.
My training so far leads me to think a <24-minute 5K is reasonable, and a sub-2-hour half-marathon. We'll see!
Running is a big deal for me because of the way God made my tender mind and sensitive body to affect each other (Can anyone say "hangry" and cranky to the max when tired or sedentary? My husband seems unaffected by hunger or exhaustion, but the slightest imbalance throws me off. I guess we make a good team! He chills me out, and I make sure he actually eats something.) And then the spiritual benefits on top of that mind-body connection help me become one with myself. I can get to know myself better, which is just as challenging as getting to know anyone else, don't ya think? And that helps me walk with Spirit, and then better communicate my love to others and God, instead of being trapped in my neurotic head with no way of expression outside myself.
On the contrary, I also must pray for God to reign over this as a tool for goodness, instead of letting the evil one use it as worship to the idol of Beauty... the feet of which I can be found kneeling dangerously often.
Father-God, thank you for the ability of my mind and body to enjoy runs. Please use my effort and experiences to carry me along the plan You desire for me, which is way better than anything I could fathom with my limited human perspective. Thank you for Spirit's help in this world. Thank You, in Jesus -- Amen.
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