My first half marathon is three weeks from today. I have been feeling strong and confident. In my head all days, I imagine how much faster and stronger I will become, and I have huge racing goals (for other future races) in the mental works. Maybe I should just focus on this October 17 half first.
This past week I hit a wall. And no matter what I did, I couldn't bounce over it or break through it.
We have been crazy-busy with life and loved ones and homeschool. Maybe that's why I am so exhausted? Or maybe nursing a toddler too many times in the night is finally catching up with me (my choice)? Or maybe the increase in mileage and speed are naturally requiring more of me, which translates to tiredness as my body catches up in strength.
Whatever the reason, I felt super discouraged this week. My muscles felt sore no matter the activity, rest, or stretching I gave them. And my long run kept getting pushed back by good but unexpected plans. It ended up at bed time last night, after we were at the zoo most of the day. I wanted to do 12 miles, and before the run I had to find the will and wisdom to push my drained self but not cause an injury.
I stopped at 8 miles in 64 minutes. I am trying to be encouraged I kept an 8-minute pace, but the disappointment of lesser mileage distracts me. And one day I want a 7-minute pace (for long distances). That distracts me too. My feet were aching and every muscle begged for stillness. My cardio was great -- if I had buffer feet, my lungs could run 1,000 miles.
Part of my soreness was my additional cross-training for an obstacle course 4-miler I am doing with a friend on Halloween. I have been adding planks, push ups, and burpees to the mix. It hurts so good to discover forgotten muscles.
Anyway, after my 8 miles last night, I cried to my husband about how discouraged I felt this week. I ran 11+ miles last week and felt so powerful, but every.single.day this week I had to nurse and push through exhaustion. Bah!
My wonderful husband has peace about him most humans don't exhibit. I feel so blessed to be in his presence and influence.
He knows the plans I have for running. He sat beside my sweaty, sad self late last night and reminded me that if I plan to accomplish some of these speeds and distances, then some days are going to be sore and tired. It is part of doing something out of the ordinary and growing. I can't expect to feel strong and powerful every day because I am not there yet... I am getting there.
Running trains my thoughts and emotions through prayer and meditation as much as my body. Praying to be wise and find the will to either act or wait, and to find the clarity for what's best, varies on the encouraging to discouraging spectrum as much as speed and distance.
Father-God, what can wash away my sins and grow Spirit's fruit in me? Not running, not people's opinions, not success -- nothing but the blood of Jesus. I thank You for allowing me the health and opportunity to seek Your face through running now. Please keep giving me wisdom and will to GROW, whether that means to act or to wait in a given moment. Please connect me to the people and purposes You want in my part of Your plan. Thank you, in Jesus the Christ's name.
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