This weekend moved a few things to new places for us since Friday morning. I guess I'll start from the simplest to the "biggest".
DISCLAIMER: The positive things I recount in this post only came after I began the day as a weepy, worried mess who had to pray for peace and be consoled by my husband before I could even start breakfast.
Little Love had a fever all through the night, and it has stayed between 100 and 101 all morning. He is trying to play as hard as he can with his big brother, but he had to stop for some mommy milk and what I hope will be some quality rest. I thought we might just have a cuddly story morning with books and a show, but, SURPRISINGLY, we got homeschool going with a nice circle time, and Big Love is doing his worksheets while I take this break with his little brother. We talked about our emotions at circle time. Big Love doesn't like to admit the negative emotions, but I thought it was very sweet when he told me he felt anxious because his baby has a fever. Then he prayed with request and thankfulness (because we talked about Paul's instructions for handling anxiety in Philippians 4). The morning has been nice, despite my initial doubt, and only because I felt it, owned it, and let loved ones help me give it to God.
Maybe you're wondering, "Nicoll, did you really freak out that bad because your littler one has a pretty mundane fever?"
Well, that wasn't all of it.
My heel is hurting! You guys, my half marathon is less than three weeks away. I feel anxious! Last Monday, I could very realistically expect to run my first half in well under two hours... but yesterday I had to walk instead of run because my heel is hurting. And it hurts worse today. Yikes! I can't tell if it is my Achilles tendon or plantars fasciitis. It hurts on the outer side/back of my heel, not really under nor directly on the back. If any knowledgeable friends have advice, please feel free to begin a conversation with me. I had plantars fasciitis ten years ago, and it took MONTHS to heal, so my worst-case-scenario negativity made me jump to conclusions yesterday, and I felt freaked out. Ahh!!! I plan to stay off my feet for a few days, and rub all the essential oils my mom and sister have for it. Of course I pray for healing because I want to attack my half with the best I presently have. But, more than foot health, I want God's peace; because in health or sickness, God's peace is available to me. And if I choose to walk by Spirit, it's mine. I tripped and fell on my face this morning (not literally), but I let God pick me up and dust me off. I may or may not have foot pains for this half marathon, but, either way, I will have a best and a fastest to give that day, comparable to nothing but where God has me in that moment. I have my preference, obviously, but I have peace either way... even if God has to pick me up all the times I figuratively trip and need reminders.
Another thing that has changed for our fall: a pregnant friend in the church here, who was a fellow English major in college many moons ago, asked me if I could sub for her maternity leave for her sophomore and junior American Literature classes at a private Christian school in town from mid-October until Christmas break. Yes, she had looked everywhere else and was desperate! Haha! But I have been praying for the past few weeks for God to give me some confidence and resources, and this fits that answer exactly -- although, THIS answer was way beyond my imagination. My husband and I prayed and planned, and I will be "teaching" high school while my friend is with her new darling. Not a career change by any means, just a temporary opportunity! My sister will be watching our boys (along with her three darlings under 3). She is a very peaceful, positive person, and she will rise to this challenge beautifully! My mom cheerfully agreed to help in case of emergencies. What about homeschool? I plan to send Big Love with a packet of activity sheets, and we will go over them in the afternoons when I get us back home. Our breakfast and bed time Bible/reading times will still happen. It may not be smooth, but rough roads function too. Everything came in to place, and we are all praying for courage to bless those in our unexpected path this fall. Haha! I feel led, excited, and in need of God. :)
Father-God, thank you for getting to know us through easy and difficult times, through wellness and illness, through expected and unexpected circumstances. You are constant, and even in our world of totally inconsistent and unpredictable events, YOU always are available abundantly to Your Children. Please always keep me sensitive to my hunger and thirst for You. I always need You, whether or not I feel it. Keep my blinding distractions and numbing bitterness in their place, not as barriers to my relationship with You. Thank you for weakness and humility, even though I don't like them, because You become very comfortably present even in those situations. I want to see Your face, as You feel I am ready for it. Thank You for Spirit's help because of Your Son. You are a really good Father. Thank you, in Jesus.
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