My second half-marathon was this past Saturday in the Cedars of Lebanon Tennessee State Park. I set a personal record (PR) of more than seven minutes since my first half back in October. I finished with an official chip time of 01:38:00. I was the second woman in my age group; seventh woman overall; and 56th person out of the 592 who raced that beautiful day! I am so pumped to continue training for the Andrew Jackson Full Marathon in April.
The boys and Justin came with me this past weekend. It was a 2.5-hour drive, so we made a weekend of it. We got to do some fun things together, and we got to see "old" friends.
Communicating adequately about my running has become an earnest prayer of mine. I am such an awkward person. Seriously you guys, I have been having very serious talks with God, slamming my fists on the steering wheel kind of serious, in wihch I beg Him to help me overcome my awkward interactions, whether in writing or real-life. Who cares if I'm awkward? Aren't we all! I just really want people to feel beloved by God after being around me -- and I am unsure if that's the case because I always say the wrong thing, if I even know what to say at all. I realize people these days are really into the self-deprecating humor of sharing the metaphorical junk drawer -- which has a needed place in connecting to each other graciously. But I also really like to excel. And I really want other people to realize their potential. We influence each other so much. What if we all went out believing I can run THAT fast or I can say NO to THAT temptation or I can make THIS good thing work for my family? The sky is the limit, and I don't want anyone putting a glass ceiling over my head, stopping me from achieving God's best. I am a perfectionist. Which is the best and worst thing about me (Sometimes I win; other times I hide in bed because I am afraid to lose). I think that is true for all of us: the best thing about us can easily become the worst thing, if we don't give it to God and work to connect with others through His love, whatever THAT thing is.
I want to share the specifics of my running success because I am still the same old dorky, awkward Nicoll. I mean, compared to elites and Olympians I am still a slow poke. Compared to a lot of average people I am not (yet) the fastest; but I am surprising myself. If I can run like this, then any physically capable person who sets their mind to it can as well. God has granted my requests for passion and confidence; He continues to help me overcome my agonizing daily battles with negativity and self-annoyances. My running is one external example of HIS work inside my heart. But I know when I share speecifics, it can come across as bragging. So then I try to include a genuine response to God's role in something that has become a blessing to me and my sweet family, those sweet darlings who have to interact with me on a daily basis, whether that's a smooth or rough way from day-to-day! But when I share something about God's role in my running I don't want to water-down His immense power to achieving athletic success. Because I really don't think Christ's possibilities over everything exist so that big men can win the SuperBowl. It may be part of that... BUT I think Christ's power affects everything about our lives, ESPECIALLY our hearts. What is in our hearts?
Fear or Courage?
Faith or Doubt?
Faith overcoming Doubt?
Doubt squashing Faith?
Betterment tackling Bitterness?
Bitterness consuming Betterment?
Perseverance through loss?
Kindness through success?
Growing closer to God as He connects us to people and circumstances in which we have to make choices that will continue to shape our hearts is the point of every day. Whether you are a healthy person trying to win races, or whether you're a sick person just trying to get through this season, or whether you're in a relationship that strains your faith and your love in every way, or whether you have food to feed your family, or whether you don't know how your child will eat today, or whether you are trying to reach out to people in a system that makes it awkward or complicated, or whether God gave you people skills that immediately calm every heart in the room with a positive vibe -- the characteristics I want to display through my running are those any person in any circumstance can seek and find. Because we each need them for whichever specific trial we are facing right now -- and God makes those characteristics available to any of us, whether we are the rich person on the hill or the person in prison. Each of us has Light to shine, wherever we are.
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