My First Half Marathon: Overcame All.The.Nerves (and Hills)

The soreness I woke with this morning was a happy trophy of reality after the surreal and wonderful experience of my first half marathon yesterday morning. I was the 9th human out of 115 competitors to cross the finish line; I was the 2nd female. My officially recorded time was 01:45:15.

Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I ran the Land Between the Lakes course in Grand Rivers, KY. It was called Run LBL Half and Full Marathon. The town was adorably charming and beautiful, set in hills beside the shining waters of a lake -- with the added beauty of October-colored leaves and a crisp, cool morning. I shed long sleeves despite the 43-degree morning because the sun and run kept me toasty enough. 

The course covered roads and trails over a span that totaled 1,200 feet of elevation gain. The website said 1,100, but my Runtastic said the former amount... My legs might estimate a few billion more. ;)

The starting line was by the shore of the lake, surrounded by sailboats. It was so pretty! The run was chip-timed, so the chip on my bib activated my official timer when I went through the line (and, likewise, stopped when I went through the finish line). The chip keeps things fair in a race where too many participants make it impossible to start at the same time from the same place. I like it! I got to the head of the pack with some 50ish-year-old men and three other women right away. I constantly kept checking with myself to be sure I wasn't going too hard too fast like the inexperienced and highly excited novice to racing that I am. I did not check my GPS on my phone at all during the race; I didn't want it messing with my psyche; so when I say "checking with myself," I was running by the way I felt--my breathing and muscles. Even though we started the race by going uphill the first mile (and there were so many more of those. Ha!), and I was with the lead, I could tell I was running a wise speed for all the fitness my training had built for me. I felt really strong and energetic. I wouldn't burn out, so I kept at it. I continued to get ahead of a few men and all the women and stayed there a couple miles. One woman and a few men  got ahead of me again around mile four, and I never could catch them again, but the woman was doing the full, so she was the first in her race, and I was in first place in my race (different distances, even on same course... different races, ultimately). No one passed me again... until the last tenth of a mile when one of those three women I'd passed at the beginning (but hadn't seen since the turnaround loop, when I knew where she was behind me, but didn't see her at all again) caught up to me. You guys! It was the most exciting finish! She and I sprinted down the final stretch through the finish line. She beat me by ONE SECOND! It was so exciting!!!! 

Friday, the day before the race, my butt muscle that had been bothering me all week was really angry with me, so I was very tightly wound and nervous. The race had become unpredictable for me. After the months of training and years of hoping for this event, I was going to run no matter what. But I couldn't even walk without a limp that day. I got an Icy Hot patch that worked wonders. I wore it during the race, and that muscle was silenced. I do feel it today, the day after running my race, and I am happy to report it feels even better than the day before I ran the race. I hope it heals totally because I have more racing to do soon, folks!

My amazingly supportive and helpful husband and our two little boys took the two-hour road trip with me. We stayed in the Grand Rivers Inn. It was tiny and well-priced and super-cute. It was so clean and quaint. Grand Rivers was so small that I could see the registration booth at the tourism office across the street from our room, and the starting line was a five-minute walk. Nicholas Sparks could set a novel in this place. I hear we need to visit at Christmas to see the 500,000+ lights and watch a Christmas play and eat at a special place called Patti's that requires months-in-advance reservations for special seasons. We ate there with my parents, who made the day even more special by driving up to cheer me on, as well as with some friends who met us after my race. All the cheering from my sweet little boys, wonderful husband, and proud parents made my heart fuller and warmer than it already was. And our friends coming to celebrate with us after is a deep blessing for me! I was way too excited about my win to eat much, though. All the butterflies were filling up my space.

I altered my diet three days before the race to reduce the risk of a tummy upset during the race because I usually have trouble with that. I cut out my whole grains and fiber-filled veggies (nerve-wracking for silly ol' me). I ate cinnamon raisin bagels instead of my Kashi cereal, white pasta noodles instead of whole wheat: I said no to broccoli and salad. Natural peanut butter (without horrible fake fats) and bananas are my favorite running fuel. I eat that every day for lunch all the time. I ate those with a bagel three hours before my race (saved half of the banana for an hour prior to racing). I drank my green tea. The night before I drank a Vitamin Water Zero for the added electrolytes and energy vitamins. You may not care, but I want to remember this diet because I felt strong, energetic, and I didn't have to find a tree in the woods during the whole race. And I was really happy to return to adding my fiber-filled, healthy-shmealthy foods to my banana and peanut butter today.

I have been praying that God would help me express the truly important things about this milestone for me. It really isn't about the success, but instead it is about all the transformation in my heart that God ignited years ago and continues to fuel, whether in running or parenting or friendship or failures or ministries. It isn't about winning versus losing, or speed versus sluggishness; or pain versus health--it is about His constantly available Presence through all those seasons. He is truly an anchor. He doesn't promise wins or health or riches, but he does promise abundant peace and joy through faith and hope and love. He promises that if we seek Him we will find Him. Sometimes I think myself is the most challenging person to love, and then the evil one is pleased to see me so distracted and exhausted from battling myself that I can't see God, much less seek His face, whether it is about wisdom or peace or other people. So the nerves I feel about racing became more of a spiritual fitness test than a physical or mental one because I constantly had to return to my Anchor to calm down and remember Truth. Win or lose, healthy or sick, elated or disappointed, in running or whatever, God cares, and He is with me. He is with you.

Father-God, thank You for this race. I feel so blessed and thankful and full of life. And you filled me with those good things before my race. You assured me that I already have the Victory that matters so I could relax and experience whatever You had in store. I like what You had in store. I like even more that my weak little faith muscles got a really good workout through all my anxiety turning to reality and gratitude for your Truth over the week. Whew! I am exhausted. Thank You for rest in Your Son and guidance through Spirit. In Jesus--thank You!

Prep Week: Racing and Teaching Haikus

My first half-marathon is this coming Saturday, and I could be teaching high school American literature as soon as a week from tomorrow (as the maternity substitute for my friend). This week has a lot of preparations in store: the completion of my race training (for this race, more to come *soon*, Lord-willing), as well as lesson preparation for the six-week study of American poets for the sophomores and juniors I am eager to meet.

For fun (and since I will soon ask teens to write their own poetry), I thought I would share my emotions about it all through a collection of loose haiku poems (Japanese style of poetry, using seventeen syllables in three lines --five in line one, seven in line two, five in line three). I have started really appreciating poetry in the past few years, and I have a lot to learn about it... As you'll soon read:

Much to do this week
My feelings are strong and broad
Will I be ready?

Five more days to train
Running fast this Saturday
Will I be ready?

Years of desire
Anticipation to race
Will I be ready?

Half marathon time
Chosen with purpose to do
Will I be ready?

My best, fast or slow
Moving, giving it my best
Yes, I'll be ready.

Changing gears for fall
Stay-at-home mom to teach school
Will I be ready?

To teach teenagers
High school poetry -- how strange
Will I be ready?

Lessons to prepare
American poets plus
Will I be ready?

Poetry is art
Emotions to build beauty
Will we be ready?

Students to care for
Blessings to receive and give
Will we be ready?

Yes, I will be there
Growing and learning, my pals
Yes, I'll be ready.

My own sweet darlings
Ev'ry day for five years now
Can I be ready...

Parted from them hours
Consecutive weekly days
Can I be ready...

In good hands they'll be
Fun with family and new things
They'll be ready.

I'll be home by 4
Mommy milk, cuddly learning
We'll be ready.

If ready or not
God's faithfulness carries us
He is for us all

My Limits, God's Constancy

In both homeschool and running , the past week's failure and impossibility of meeting my great, too-big, wannabe-over-achieving expectations slapped me in the face with sobering reminders of my limitations. And, graciously, God reminded me of His peaceful control and providence.

First, I started the week realizing my right foot is injured; so I went through the emotions of hoping it was just a little tired (Will it be magically healed with a couple days rest?) to despairing that rest wasn't helping (Am I gonna have to postpone my training and racing for months?!) to thanking God for putting people in my path to help me get closer to my first half marathon on October 17. As silly as it sounds to... probably everyone... this race has been the clearest thing on my bucket list for years. It is a huge deal to me!

I struggled with plantars fasciitis a decade+ ago (an overstretched/torn tendon on the bottom of my foot makes my heel hurt, and it takes a reeeeeeally long time to heal, in layman's terms). I still can't tell for sure if that is my problem now... But since my brother-in-law, who runs countless full marathons each year, has plantars fasciitis himself, he called to encourage me. Guess what?! I can run on it! If he can run full marathons, like the Boston Marathon this past April (For those who don't know, a runner has to be awesome to even be allowed to do that race. My bro-in-law did great!), then I can run too! He convinced me of ice's healing powers, so I've been icing the soreness a couple of times a day and...

rubbing Do Terra Essential Oils from my wonderful, giving mom all over that foot. She gave me a Deep Blue cream and marjoram and lemongrass. My foot smells interesting. :)

Also, my stepdad gave me a free pass a few months ago to a gym. So I got to cross-train one day this week on a stationary bicycle to help out that foot too. (And I found out the one free session I thought I had is actually three free sessions... which will help me cross-train the next two weeks before the half.

How blessed am I to receive the emotional and physical uplifting from these three people. I begged God to restore my confidence because my head was bummed out at the beginning of the week. I got two great runs in, including my long one, both at or under my goal pace of 8 minutes per mile (and that was trying to ease up for my foot's sake.

I also realized how I have gotten too big for my britches. Reality check! I won my first 5K in August under my goal time at 22:56 (at a really tiny, not-impressive-to-anyone-but-my-loved-ones event. Lol!) And I read about marathoners every week. But am I training for my umpteenth full marathon, with all that strength and fitness under my belt... yet? Have I ever even run a half marathon... yet? Nope!!! I needed to be reminded I can't train the same as some of my fav's... yet. I downloaded an official half marathon beginning plan to keep me grounded and uninjured the next two weeks. Check out CoachJenny.com for free training plans.

More than running abilities (SO.MUCH.MORE! Because it can't be taken away by evil or illness or death or even confusion) I want confidence from God's peace that in rest or action, illness or health, good or bad, God is with me. The evil one wants us to feel forgotten and worthless. I do not want to fall for this lie. I have faith God can guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Thank you, God.

As far as homeschool goes, my fear of it getting swept up in our busy lifestyle became reality this week. We did do some of it, but a lot of my planned activities got squashed out.  Little Love had the croup, so he needed extra cuddles and a different schedule. And my plans to teach high school American Literature at a private school as a maternity sub for my friend from late October until Christmas break are requiring a lot of preparation. I know God wants things to work out this way, so I am not unhappy about the shift in plans. But since our entire lifestyle hinges on me being in our house full-time, adjustments require attention for this upcoming fall. And attention requires time and mental energy. And time and mental energy disappear around here like a firefly's flickering backside in the distance.

Fall is my favorite time. Aside from the obvious seasonal delights, each of my three guys' birthdays are coming up: our firstborn's at the end of October, my husband's in November, and our toddler's in December. I really like birthday parties and celebrations and doing things with loved ones, so I like to "go overboard". I need more time and energy! My brain is trying so hard to pull off all these special and everyday things, down to our homemade bread loaves, and I can see the smoke coming out my ears.

I still plan to give Big Love work to do at my sister's each day and to work with him in the afternoons when I am finished teaching... But he is just doing pre-K. I have been exhausting my mental energy like the State is already monitoring his education. A homeschool friend with an older child told me that in kindergarten I will have to document four hours (I am pretty sure) of school each weekday. So I have been trying to do that... Silly Nicoll! It's like I am training for the sub-3-hour full-marathon on my newbie half-marathon legs in homeschool world. It's like I am prepping him for college, and he is not even 5... yet.

God has us here, in this time and place with these abilities, whatever they are (or are not). I know the plans I have for the future, and I burn a lot of energy trying to do them all RIGHT NOW. God may not have the same plans for me that I have. I know He had different plans up to this point than I did, and I am SO thankful for His omniscient and providential ways.

Father-God, please continue teaching me to be present in the space and time where You have me, continually giving me discernment on how to tackle my to-do list in the right way, with the abilities I have. Just as a newborn baby can't learn to walk or run without experiencing certain other important phases, I must experience this season to get to the next ones the right way. Please help me simplify and chill out. I know a lot of my stress comes from a desire to compensate for previous passionless and idle years with my new-found driven passion to.do.all.the.good.things.right.now. But where does my planning get me? A burnt out spirit with a bum foot and an out-of-order house. Thank You for getting me to a place where I do not feel unloved by You with my limits and flaws. I truly, deeply feel AND believe You love me, no matter what. Thank You, Spirit, for busting through that insecurity. I feel an urgent desire to do what I want because I finally want good things. You know I also desire some bad things. Please just keep me far from my vices and watch over me until I grow to the next phase, and then please do the same for the next bazillion phases and seasons until I make it Home with You and Jesus. Thank You so much for Spirit! In Jesus' name, thank You!

Constantly Available Peace in Unexpected Seasons

This weekend moved a few things to new places for us since Friday morning. I guess I'll start from the simplest to the "biggest".

DISCLAIMER: The positive things I recount in this post only came after I began the day as a weepy, worried mess who had to pray for peace and be consoled by my husband before I could even start breakfast.

Little Love had a fever all through the night, and it has stayed between 100 and 101 all morning. He is trying to play as hard as he can with his big brother, but he had to stop for some mommy milk and what I hope will be some quality rest. I thought we might just have a cuddly story morning with books and a show, but, SURPRISINGLY, we got homeschool going with a nice circle time, and Big Love is doing his worksheets while I take this break with his little brother. We talked about our emotions at circle time. Big Love doesn't like to admit the negative emotions, but I thought it was very sweet when he told me he felt anxious because his baby has a fever. Then he prayed with request and thankfulness (because we talked about Paul's instructions for handling anxiety in Philippians 4). The morning has been nice, despite my initial doubt, and only because I felt it, owned it, and let loved ones help me give it to God.

Maybe you're wondering, "Nicoll, did you really freak out that bad because your littler one has a pretty mundane fever?"

Well, that wasn't all of it.

My heel is hurting! You guys, my half marathon is less than three weeks away. I feel anxious! Last Monday, I could very realistically expect to run my first half in well under two hours... but yesterday I had to walk instead of run because my heel is hurting. And it hurts worse today. Yikes! I can't tell if it is my Achilles tendon or plantars fasciitis. It hurts on the outer side/back of my heel, not really under nor directly on the back. If any knowledgeable friends have advice, please feel free to begin a conversation with me. I had plantars fasciitis ten years ago, and it took MONTHS to heal, so my worst-case-scenario negativity made me jump to conclusions yesterday, and I felt freaked out. Ahh!!! I plan to stay off my feet for a few days, and rub all the essential oils my mom and sister have for it. Of course I pray for healing because I want to attack my half with the best I presently have. But, more than foot health, I want God's peace; because in health or sickness, God's peace is available to me. And if I choose to walk by Spirit, it's mine. I tripped and fell on my face this morning (not literally), but I let God pick me up and dust me off. I may or may not have foot pains for this half marathon, but, either way, I will have a best and a fastest to give that day, comparable to nothing but where God has me in that moment. I have my preference, obviously, but I have peace either way... even if God has to pick me up all the times I figuratively trip and need reminders.

Another thing that has changed for our fall: a pregnant friend in the church here, who was a fellow English major in college many moons ago, asked me if I could sub for her maternity leave for her sophomore and junior American Literature classes at a private Christian school in town from mid-October until Christmas break. Yes, she had looked everywhere else and was desperate! Haha! But I have been praying for the past few weeks for God to give me some confidence and resources, and this fits that answer exactly -- although, THIS answer was way beyond my imagination. My husband and I prayed and planned, and I will be "teaching" high school while my friend is with her new darling. Not a career change by any means, just a temporary opportunity! My sister will be watching our boys (along with her three darlings under 3). She is a very peaceful, positive person, and she will rise to this challenge beautifully! My mom cheerfully agreed to help in case of emergencies. What about homeschool? I plan to send Big Love with a packet of activity sheets, and we will go over them in the afternoons when I get us back home. Our breakfast and bed time Bible/reading times will still happen. It may not be smooth, but rough roads function too. Everything came in to place, and we are all praying for courage to bless those in our unexpected path this fall. Haha! I feel led, excited, and in need of God. :)

Father-God, thank you for getting to know us through easy and difficult times, through wellness and illness, through expected and unexpected circumstances. You are constant, and even in our world of totally inconsistent and unpredictable events, YOU always are available abundantly to Your Children. Please always keep me sensitive to my hunger and thirst for You. I always need You, whether or not I feel it. Keep my blinding distractions and numbing bitterness in their place, not as barriers to my relationship with You. Thank you for weakness and humility, even though I don't like them, because You become very comfortably present even in those situations. I want to see Your face, as You feel I am ready for it. Thank You for Spirit's help because of Your Son. You are a really good Father. Thank you, in Jesus.

Discouragement is an Important Part of Growth

My first half marathon is three weeks from today. I have been feeling strong and confident. In my head all days, I imagine how much faster and stronger I will become, and I have huge racing goals (for other future races) in the mental works. Maybe I should just focus on this October 17 half first.

This past week I hit a wall. And no matter what I did, I couldn't bounce over it or break through it.

We have been crazy-busy with life and loved ones and homeschool. Maybe that's why I am so exhausted? Or maybe nursing a toddler too many times in the night is finally catching up with me (my choice)? Or maybe the increase in mileage and speed are naturally requiring more of me, which translates to tiredness as my body catches up in strength.

Whatever the reason, I felt super discouraged this week. My muscles felt sore no matter the activity, rest, or stretching I gave them. And my long run kept getting pushed back by good but unexpected plans. It ended up at bed time last night, after we were at the zoo most of the day. I wanted to do 12 miles, and before the run I had to find the will and wisdom to push my drained self but not cause an injury.

I stopped at 8 miles in 64 minutes. I am trying to be encouraged I kept an 8-minute pace, but the disappointment of lesser mileage distracts me. And one day I want a 7-minute pace (for long distances). That distracts me too. My feet were aching and every muscle begged for stillness. My cardio was great -- if I had buffer feet, my lungs could run 1,000 miles.

Part of my soreness was my additional cross-training for an obstacle course 4-miler I am doing with a friend on Halloween. I have been adding planks, push ups, and burpees to the mix. It hurts so good to discover forgotten muscles.

Anyway, after my 8 miles last night, I cried to my husband about how discouraged I felt this week. I ran 11+ miles last week and felt so powerful, but every.single.day this week I had to nurse and push through exhaustion. Bah!

My wonderful husband has peace about him most humans don't exhibit. I feel so blessed to be in his presence and influence.

He knows the plans I have for running. He sat beside my sweaty, sad self late last night and reminded me that if I plan to accomplish some of these speeds and distances, then some days are going to be sore and tired. It is part of doing something out of the ordinary and growing. I can't expect to feel strong and powerful every day because I am not there yet... I am getting there.

Running trains my thoughts and emotions through prayer and meditation as much as my body. Praying to be wise and find the will to either act or wait, and to find the clarity for what's best, varies on the encouraging to discouraging spectrum as much as speed and distance.

Father-God, what can wash away my sins and grow Spirit's fruit in me? Not running, not people's opinions, not success -- nothing but the blood of Jesus. I thank You for allowing me the health and opportunity to seek Your face through running now. Please keep giving me wisdom and will to GROW, whether that means to act or to wait in a given moment. Please connect me to the people and purposes You want in my part of Your plan. Thank you, in Jesus the Christ's name.

Homeschool: Learning New Habits, Curriculum

Big Love drew this during quiet time in his room last week. This is a football player on the Police team. See how he sounded out "police" and wrote the correct sounds (PLES) on the helmet. Oh, English phonics.
This was his own choice to draw and write, with no direction from me.
I feel really good about all the practice we are doing with letters.
Kids amaze me.

Last week was our second of intentional pre-K homeschool, and since it left me a little discouraged, I feel more pumped this morning to make this week better.

I dislike planning every minute of each day because I want to leave room for God's nudging in our life; I don't want to miss his better-than-ours ideas.

I do like boundaries and structure and guidance; I want to grow in an upward and forward maturity (in person or whatever goal is before us).

Considering both those concepts, I want to know what we need to accomplish each week and be sure those goals are a priority; but if a need arises in our community, then I don't want school to be more important than love. Does that make sense? Asking God for discernment is so important for me each day because sometimes I get lost without proper boundaries amidst all.the.needs. We could be swept up in fun AND work all of every day without any plans for it; our lives are ripe with good opportunities. And I get anxious about being sure homeschool is taken seriously by me so that others will understand its significance. Is any of this making sense?

By the time we register him with the appropriate authorities for homeschool kindergarten next year, I want to be sure I have the correct resources to know what he should know and by when. I get rerally anxious baout this, so then I just pray and remember by then I will know what I need to know. That's what this year is for.

Another big challenge is the age and developmental discrepancy between our almost 5yo and almost 2yo. some of thhe things we do together. However, the little one has not figured out how to entertain himself while Big Bro is working, and Big Bro wants to play when Little Bro does figure it out. We have made it work so far... but it is not natural yet. And it drives me a little bananas.

This week I look forward to learning more about the curriculum I chose from Oak Meadow.

I chose it because of something the author calls contraction and expansion. Contraction is when the parent(s) works with the children, and expansion is when children and parents work separately. Breakfast, lunch, supper, and bedtime are important contraction times (parents and kids together), and that fits well with the way we already do things.

The dentist and zoo will be part of this week, so I look forward to working those into our schoolweek as "field trips" with fun activities.

Now that cooler temperatures are coming, I have begun running in the mornings, which is different than fitting runs in on the treadmill during nap/quiet time or when my husband gets off work and plays with the boys. I find myself craving the stillness, peace, and beauty of sunrise. My younger self would think I am nuts... but I am really excited about my morning time, which I hope will make more time for learning curriculum and chores and all sorts of other necessary things in the afternoons.

The sunrise as seen between our neighborhood and the next one over.

Father-God, please help me walk step-by-step with You so I can make the better choices for our time, energy, and resources from moment-to-moment. Please help me be kind and forgiving with myself as You make me aware of changes I need to make. Please make our path clear for the next steps at the right time. Please help me set correct boundaries. I am thankful for Your plans for our family so far. Thank you, in Jesus.

Training: Dark Before Dawn & Raisins in My Shorts

Lord-willing, I will be running the Land Between the Lakes Half-marathon in Kentucky on October 17. You can read about it here, if you are interested: https://ultrasignup.com/register.aspx?did=32571.

I am so very excited!  A half has been on my unwritten bucket list (I don't have a written one) for years. Seriously, y'all, I have butterflies about it.

This morning was a long run in my training cycle. I am doing my own thing loosely based on plans friends have done... and I constantly have to pray for wisdom because I want to overdo it every time. I felt my unusually tight hamstrings this week after a combination of great fast runs AND yardwork from last week, so I pushed this week's long run from this past Tuesday to this morning. I did five mile runs a little more slowly on both Tuesday and Wednesday to baby my hamstrings... and they felt really good yesterday, so I felt good about going the distance this morning.

I did 11+ miles, beginning at 5:30 a.m., after nursing our toddler and stretching. I didn't realize just how dark it still is that early, and, given the choice again, I will not begin until 6. Maybe I will if I research running in the dark and get the right equipment. I did wear my bright, reflective running clothes (Thanks, Mother-in-law, for the birthday gift!); but I could not see if there were sticks or rocks or creatures in my path. I am thankful I did not step on the dead armadillo I could only smell on the first loop. Eww...

I am pleased my average time per mile was 8:18. Ideally, I want to run in 8:00 or less... BUT I had to stop and use the restroom at a gas station, and I did NOT stop my Runtastic clock. I left water to drink at the end of our driveway so I could get a drink on the repeat of the loop really fast (without having to carry it the whole way), and I kept the clock going while I downed it. This run had 400+ feet of elevation, at least that my GPS could sense. The half I am running has 1,100 feet of elevation... I am nervous about the hills, but maybe if I don't have to stop and use a tree for plumbing issues (it's in a state park, not a city), and I keep running as fast as I can up the hills in our neighborhood, I can at least do 8:18ish a mile, like this morning. And, since it is my first half, I should probably just be happy to finish... or get it in under 2 hours. We'll see!

The race will have water stops and gu stations along my route. Gu packets are energy and electrolyte slime that runners can down while they're running long distances. I will NOT put that nasty stuff in my mouth or my body. So I have been reading about natural alternatives to on-the-run fuel. A couple of different articles I found on Runner's World suggested a box of raisins. They have an appropriate shot of carbohydrates, but no electrolytes, but I ate some stove-popped corn with my husband last night and got my sea salt intake then. I usually don't feel short on electrolytes while running. If I did need electrolytes, I would bring mashed sweet potatoes with sea salt mixed in that I could store in a tiny bag that I just rip open to suck while running. This morning I brought one of my sons' raisins boxes in the little-bitty pocket inside my running shorts intended for keys or phones... or fuel. A lot of people don't consume fuel for half-marathons, just marathons... but I read a few experienced runners who say around mile 8 or 9 that it does help. So I tested that out this morning. I think with that elevation of 1,100 feet I will need any extra fuel I can get. At about 8.5 miles this morning, I chewed almost half the box while running. It was pleasant to chew and swallow while running, but my body just didn't want anything else entering it, so I didn't need to finish it. I did feel a second wind in my leg muscles after eating them. So I will have raisins in my racing gear. 

Sharing my running experiences causes me a little concern because I am human, and I know other humans give me a gold star for running, and of course I like that. I really don't want this to be about me in a boastful sense. Contrarily, I truly want to share these experiences because of the encouragement I want to pass to others. I get so much encouragement when other people share their stories. I am as normal and weak as a person can be. Some of you may know certain instances of my timidity and discouragement in other life seasons, so you know if I can do this, THEN YOU CAN TOO. And it's because of Christ's Spirit growing life in our hearts. That verse at the top of this blog... We have love, power, and discipline living in us because of our faith in Jesus Christ, y'all. Life is not about getting exercise or winning races, but if certain activities, like running, can grow the courage muscles in our spirits and help us see what God can do through our bodies and minds, then I want every bit of those earthly opportunities to help me learn to walk with Spirit. I cannot live (as in it is NOT possible, not just comfortable) without eating or sleeping; my body needs exercise too. 

I ran through a huge city by myself at sunrise last month; this morning I ran on a highway in the dark; and I have participated in two races -- all things that make the timid flesh in my heart squirm. But do you know how good it feels to overcome your discomforts and fears and learn that you can overcome? It feels so good! It feels way better to do it than not to do it. And, little-by-little, this courage growing in me helps me connect to people I don't know or who are different than me; it helps me attempt experiences that maybe one day can supply resources and connections for just deeds in this fallen world. I don't know what the future holds, but I know that right now I am actually present.

Father-God, thank You for giving us Your Spirit. Thank You that You are such a magnificent Creator that Your Spirit can weave together through out bodies and minds and with each other and experiences to accomplish transformation in our fallen, bitter, scared hearts. Thank You for patience and steadfast growth because this surely does not happen in one day. Thank you, in Jesus.