As frustrating as it can be, and as easily as one can become brain-washed by its never-ending updates, Facebook can be a really good teacher of human insecurities... which, in my opinion, are revealed in pride more than doubts.
A trend I have noticed in our culture, and one I still struggle against, has me asking questions. I really think that because I am now a mother and understand personally how precious a child is to his or her parents simply because he exists, answers people have adhered to regarding beauty versus abilities cannot be conclusive and are errant.
Our continual societal perversion of lust for beauty has resulted in an extreme reaction. And I want to ask questions because I want all of our children to feel worthy of love simply because God made them because God loves them -- regardless of anything they can or cannot do.
I keep seeing expressions of thoughts that go something like this:
"I want my son to be proud of how smart he is, not how strong or handsome he is."
"My daughter's achievements are more important than how pretty her face or her body are."
"Applaud my body for its abilities, not the way it looks."
Well... what about that precious child with severe cerebral palsy in the wheelchair? Where does he fall in that hierarchy of supposed "better" thinking?
I see people saying mean things to others (not directly, of course, just in that wonderfully passive-aggressive outlet of a Facebook status) that reveal hate. Of course they are not this simple, but basically the thoughts are: "You don't like me because I'm ugly. Well, I don't like you because you're pretty."
...
Hmmm.
...
It seems to me that hateful emotion could be broken down even simpler to reveal its faultiness. "You don't like me because of how I look? Well, I don't like you because of how you look."
My husband told me a few months ago about a podcast sermon he heard discussing envy. It impacted me because the speaker said that envy is not just simply wanting what someone else has; envy is wanting what someone else has so badly that you hate them because they have it and you don't. If that didn't stop and make you feel something icky, then please re-read it. Ick. Just ick. It's true and it stomps on my toes. How hateful.
A never-ending cycle of comparisons to make others feel less than equal to ourselves because we aren't placing our worth in the right Light -- that's what I want to address with this post.
We live in a world of tangible things. That can't be disregarded or ignored, and it will result in losing focus on eternal matters we can barely imagine in this realm. This post won't change that. Nothing will, until Jesus takes us Home.
However, my hope as a parent is to teach my child that God makes each person unique -- with different looks, different abilities, different achievements. And I don't want him to get distracted by comparisons and envies that separate him from others. I want him to learn to use whatever unique position God has put him in (encompassing his looks, talents, achievements, failures, AND especially how he treats others) as a tool to show God's love, not as an outlet to pervert God's glory into self-worship or distractions. I certainly want him to become the most excellent version of himself to give God's glory every room for opportunity, but his excellence will be different than any of yours.
Isn't appreciating a physicist for his unique brain the same thing as appreciating an outstandingly beautiful woman for her unique attractiveness? Isn't being proud of a man whose bodily proportions help him swim faster than anyone in the world the same thing as lifting up a professional football player whose unique experiences have helped him lead his team to win every Sunday?
God made all good things. People pervert them for their own lust. That's not God's fault. And I am sick of being angry at people because God gave them different good things than he gave to me.
As a teenager I thought Brad Pitt hung the moon. I knew everything there was to know about him. I remember reading an article about his childhood. His father is a Baptist preacher, and people said as a child Brad was one of the most passionate Christian young men -- you could see the emotion in his body during every hymn. One thing his mother told him as a little boy was that his good looks would require a lot of responsibility because people would be drawn to him. Even with all his philanthropic ways, he'll be the first to tell you now that he is NOT a Christian. (I always wonder how much impact he could have if he returned to his First Love (Jesus -- not Jennifer) with those good looks AND passionate heart for others.)
BUT... that makes me think of Esther.
The reason she was in the position to save her people is because the king thought she was so beautiful and chose her to be his wife. Beauty in and of itself cannot be hated or disregarded because God has a purpose for it. You may be saying, "Well, yeah, Nicoll, but we're talking about child beauty pageants and airbrushed models who are half-naked on magazine covers." Well, my response is a plea for you to more specifically target your distaste for the perversion of a good tool God intended when creating that precious person's beauty, instead of making your children believe that beauty is irrelevant. Esther proves it is not.
These thoughts come from a woman who has struggled with feeling insecure all my life. I know what it's like to feel like the ugly duckling among the pretty girls, and I understand wishing for some above-average talent or ability that could set me apart from the crowd when I feel invisible. When I complete a long run or create some art piece that makes me feel good about my talents, it is always a temptation to take the glory and forget that God gave me those abilities for some reason, little or big. The truth is, though, one day my body may be unable to run because of old joints, my eyes may be too dim to paint or knit, my mental faculties may prevent me from forming coherent thoughts...
And, then, the ONLY thing that will matter is that God made me because God loves me. It is all that matters now.
[Added later:] And Jesus has promised to remake me. And you.
You are loved.
