My First 5K -- a Win!

Yesterday was the day -- the day I finally found the courage to run a race, after years of loving to RUN!

I drove an hour and a half to participate in a small 5K (around 40 participants) hosted by a church who is raising funds to free children from sex slavery in Thailand on their mission trip next year.

What a day! Y'all! WHAT A DAY! I am still reeling with excitement from it all! I ended up being the first woman to cross the finish line... more on that in a minute.

My husband, who I may sometimes call Coach for all the moral and childcare support he provides to encourage my running goals, stayed home with our boys while I drove and ran. I got to pray -- UNINTERRUPTED -- for like an hour, and then I blasted the radio and sang. My new smart phone led me to my destination, even when an important ramp was closed. It is so cool how those GPS things work!

When I got there, I wasn't feeling the anxiety and nervousness I feared. Running is a joy for me. It's the people and the competing of races that scare(d) me. (Not anymore--I wanna race, race, race after yesterday!) I was just ready to run. I checked in, got my shirt, emptied my bladder, stretched and prayed. I sized up the competition -- quite a mix of ages, from 6 years old to 60.

I was most nervous about pacing myself when amidst the other runners. The competition is a healthy motivator for speed, but I did not want to start out so fast that I crashed halfway through... and i didn't want to start out too slow because I was afraid of starting too fast.

Above is a shot from my Runtastic of the race yesterday morning. My first mile was faster than I am used to, and I felt that at the time (even though I didn't want to look at my phone and get caught up in my head about that... so I didn't look until the end), so I slowed a little, purposefully. The third mile required endurance, and I felt like I was flying when the volunteers cheered me through the finish line. I didn't slow until I crossed those cones! WHEW!!!

One more thing about the Runtastic. I totally forgot to turn off my clock for almost 45 seconds after crossing the finish line. I knew I was the first woman, and at the time I couldn't tell if I was the fifth or sixth person. I was SO EXCITED, like a person who is so shocked she hit a homerun that she forgets to run bases... I forgot to shut off my clock in the excitement. The official time as recorded at the race was 22:56!!! First woman! Fifth person! My goal was under 24 minutes. I feel so pumped! As you can see, though... my Runtastic only measured 3.02 miles... but I would have beat my goal even with the next .08 miles... unless I fell on my face, I guess!

You guys, courage and success feel so good! I am working on a post about finding God in these moments of glory. It is easy to make it all about me and way too much self focus. I pray to express in words how much God has helped me from being a really insecure teenager many years ago to becoming a woman who feeds healthy delusions of elite-running grandeur in the next decade. Or just a woman who has a lot of fun at races, like yesterday! Elite or not, this is where I am and I am actually present for it -- ENJOYING it in God's PEACE, content with where I am while healthfully attempting new goals. What plans does He have for me? Will I simply encourage average women to try something intimidating they have always wanted, will I run in the Olympics (doubtful but not impossible), will I find connections and funds to help people in need through this hobby??? I don't know. And I am not gonna get ahead of myself. Right now, I am a woman who appreciates the physical and mental fitness of running, and who is finding the courage to try new circumstances and new challenges because I actually believe I can do anything through Christ on His unique path for me. Step-by-step. God will lead me. (I have another post in the mental works about women who have helped me break through the shell of negativity about women's capabilities. We are different than men, in God's good design; but we are capable of much more than the thoughtless and easy-to-miss-but-still-absorbed remarks we are surrounded by in our culture.)

I also learned something I needed to know for the half-marathon in October: I cannot drink water from a little cup at the volunteer stand while running. It went up my nose and choked me, so I just poured it on my shirt to cool off. I usually don't need a drink until mile 6, but I have been wondering about the half. Should I just wear my own water bottle with a squirt top? I don't want to put up with it. Stopping to drink a little cup in a fast gulp and then making up for lost speed once it is down will be better than choking on snorted water and gasping for breath while running at top speed. Hmm. It was funny, though!

Another thing I enjoyed about the race was waiting with other finishers until all the racers were done. One man, Scott, talked with me for a good while about ultra-marathons (Yes, I have a NEW DELUSION OF GRANDEUR that I will post about at a later date too!) and his family. He and I connected at the starting line because it took them forever to blow the horn. He was friendly and good spirited--a 53-year-old man who kept up with the two teenage boys who won the race, he crossed the finish line at 21:40, ahead of me. He took my picture for my award and kindly told me that his wife left her job as a CPA to stay home when they had kids (as many years ago as I was born) and that she was never sorry for the decision. He said that to encourage me as a mommy. I really like people who find little things to appreciate and encourage in others. I hope I meet Scott again. I really hope he runs the half-marathon I am doing in October. He was thinking about it. What a nice man!

Oh, and then there was a 6-year-old girl who finished the race in 40 minutes. Y'all, she had fallen flat on her face at the beginning of the race... and then she ran to the end. SIX YEARS OLD! Carolina, you rock, little gal! We all cheered for her at the end.

I got a gift card as my prize to RoadID.com. Until then, I had never considered the wisdom of wearing an identification accessory in case of injury on long runs by myself... I am interested in it. And since they didn't have medals at this race... I consider the gift card envelope my medal. See below: (Can you see the tiny letters?) I am the "Winner Fe"! I assumed that is "Fe[male]", but it also makes me think I am Iron Man because of the Periodic Table of Elements... and because I feel like Iron Woman after yesterday's success.

Father-God, You were with me yesterday. Or, rather, I should say I walked with You. You're always with me, thanks to Your Son. Feeling alive feels so good, wanting to pursue challenges and be connected to people and conquer fears... Wow! If only my 15-year-old self could have figured this out THEN. Oh, well... You work on me in Your time. Thank You! Please help me not sabotage my continued training and pursuits by focusing on the wrong things from yesterday. Thank You for my health and my friends and family who encourage me. Thank You for future plans... and please help me to count on You more than those future plans, since they don't exist for me yet. Thank you for Spirit's work in my soul. I feel Your fruits more than I have before. Please keep working on me. In Jesus the Christ, I pray -- Thank YOU!

First Race Eve Emotions (5K)

Tomorrow is the day! I will wake before the sun (if I sleep at all with these butterflies inside me) to prepare myself to drive an hour and a half for my first official race.

In high school I swam with a school team for a year. I adored the hard workouts for practice. I would go before school on my own, and then I would go after school with teammates, all because I loved the challenge, endorphins, and success of training my body hard.

But the meets... Y'all, I hated the races with every fiber of my being. The anxiety I felt from the preparations and the travel and waiting for my event and the dread of people watching me (not that anyone other than my mom could even tell who I was in my swim cap and goggles, if she even could) -- all of those things were terrible to me. But I never hated practice (other than the first 5 a.m. jump into the cold pool). I looked forward to it. I am even missing it as I recall it now.

That was 13 years ago, so hopefully whatever maturity I have gained since will lessen the dread of race-day jitters as it compares to running now.

Today I feel positively excited I get to test my fitness and my mentality tomorrow. I have been a runner since before my swim days (except for a few interspersed seasons where I did not run). Like swimming, I could run all day every day if time and muscles allowed. I love training... but competition?

This season of running began after our 20-month-old's birth. I feel almost ready for the half-marathon I am doing in eight weeks because of the success of my long runs (7 to 10 miles since the beginning of July)... so my husband has been encouraging me to hold back this week before my first race, which is "just a 5K". I ran 7+ miles on Wednesday... and, if not for him, I would foolishly have done that this morning, instead of the 2.4 he advised me to do to keep my legs ready and strong for tomorrow, since this is my first race. It's not like I am a seasoned marathoner I read about on Twitter daily. THIS IS DRIVING ME BANANAS!!!! I want to go FARTHER! But I am thankful Coach tempers my inability to separate events and seasons and abilities in my "I should be able to do and have it ALL RIGHT NOW" mind.

Pre-race questions that only experience can answer: How will I follow the pace my body needs in context of all the other racers? Will I go too fast bc I am hyped up, and then burn out? Or will I go too slow because I am afraid of going too fast? Will I get my goal time, even with the inflatable obstacle course at this particular race? Should finishing be my only goal for the first race?

We'll see!

Father-God, thank You for the opportunity and ability I have in this season to run. It blesses me very much, which I hope carries into blessing those close to me. Please help me be kind to myself no matter how tomorrow's race goes. I want walk peacefully and joyfully with Spirit. Please open my heart to whomever and whatever You want me to experience throughout this running jig. In Jesus, thank You.

Running Goals

I tried to re-vamp my blog during our baby's nap time. Another day I will have to figure out how to get personalized photos in the place I want them AND the size in which I want them. I feel rushed because who knows when I'll hear that waking cry. I find it hard to concentrate, especially with technology.

Running is therapy for me. I have always heard people say they need to do This or That "to clear my head." Well, running clears my head. It gets all the little crazy ducks of worry and fear and control-freakishness in their proper rows so I can continue in confidence and order. It smooths out all the wrinkles my thoughts trip over all day long.

A week from today I will run my first official race. I have run off-and-on since high school, but I have never been brave enough to run a race. Why do I need to run a race if the treadmill or the local trail is enjoyable for me? I need to run a race to overcome my fear of connection. I want to be connected to other runners, and I want to see how far and fast God wants me to go. So I am really excited! I have increased my six-mile runs up to ten miles for the past six weeks in continued preparation for a half-marathon in mid-October. This first race will be a 5K, and I am driving to another state by myself for the experience. I am the type who needs to get my feet wet in solitude, so I eagerly anticipate the day of reaching new heights with just God and myself. No distractions. Very spiritual for me... which may sound weird to some. Oh, well.

Then a friend and I have some shorter races this fall too... and I am really excited to experience the race atmosphere and warm up to it with a buddy after getting my feet wet alone next week.

My training so far leads me to think a <24-minute 5K is reasonable, and a sub-2-hour half-marathon. We'll see! 

Running is a big deal for me because of the way God made my tender mind and sensitive body to affect each other (Can anyone say "hangry" and cranky to the max when tired or sedentary? My husband seems unaffected by hunger or exhaustion, but the slightest imbalance throws me off. I guess we make a good team! He chills me out, and I make sure he actually eats something.) And then the spiritual benefits on top of that mind-body connection help me become one with myself. I can get to know myself better, which is just as challenging as getting to know anyone else, don't ya think? And that helps me walk with Spirit, and then better communicate my love to others and God, instead of being trapped in my neurotic head with no way of expression outside myself.

On the contrary, I also must pray for God to reign over this as a tool for goodness, instead of letting the evil one use it as worship to the idol of Beauty... the feet of which I can be found kneeling dangerously often.

Father-God, thank you for the ability of my mind and body to enjoy runs. Please use my effort and experiences to carry me along the plan You desire for me, which is way better than anything I could fathom with my limited human perspective. Thank you for Spirit's help in this world. Thank You, in Jesus -- Amen.