Our second child arrived one week ago. How have seven whole days --now eight, in the time it took me to write this -- passed since?!
Before the details blur into all-night nursing marathons, I'd like to record the birth story. And because God answered our prayers regarding this birth, I would like to share the story of what he did for us with those of you who care to hear.
Our first child arrived in late October a little more than three years ago. My whole pregnancy, I wanted to give birth naturally (no pitocin, no pain killers) because of spiritual insights I hoped to gain from the experience -- not because I felt I had to, but because I wanted to. Our firstborn was a week overdue, and because of last-minute high-blood pressure, my doctor recommended an induction. Only a few hours into the birth, I asked for an epidural because people had convinced me pitocin made contractions more painful than they otherwise would be -- which psyched me out. (After experiencing contractions with and without pitocin, YES, pitocin makes them more intense.) Long story short: Our baby had to be delivered in an emergency c-section because of what turned out to be a cord issue -- it was wrapped around him, squeezing him to death during every contraction. The events of that day and the way they played out gave us a healthy, happy child we may otherwise have lost... so I am beyond grateful for modern medical procedures. However, I felt disappointed I didn't get to experience giving birth naturally, and it remained a hope of mine for another time. I also realized I had not prepared myself mentally for attempting the pains of childbirth with no pain killers and knew I would have to be less naive the next time.
When we got pregnant this second time, my husband and I began praying and preparing for the possibility of an all-natural VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section). We really like our doctor and trust our care to her medical knowledge. She was on-board with the plan. We also read a book called The Bradley Method: Husband-Coached Childbirth to help us prepare mentally for making it through contractions. My favorite part of the book was a repetitive mention of how important relaxing one's body, especially the jaw, through contractions is to experiencing the pain in a less terrifying way. We practiced relaxing together many nights... I am NOT good at it. But that jaw part was a practical. helpful tool for me when it counted.
As the due date approached, I tried to retain a realistic view of my own courage, knowing I might very well wimp out, but praying God would have sovereignty over the timing and circumstances to make me stronger and braver than I felt. (Reading Bible stories with a little boy over the past few years really helped me find courage... because I really feel like I am a wimp... but God provides the bravery.)
Another potential obstacle: My body does not like to let go of my babies. My period predicted our second baby's due date as November 23... but an early ultrasound (because of scary spotting that thankfully revealed no harm) predicted the baby as due December 2. Talk about a letdown in the nauseous, anxiety-filled first trimester. I really felt like I'd been pregnant forever by the end, but who doesn't? Anyway, at my 40-week checkup, December 2, my body showed no signs of releasing a child, not even contractions. My doctor and I decided that by a certain date, December 10, if my body had not delivered a baby on its own, we would do a c-section. I did NOT want to do a pitocin induction because I believe it messes up a lot of the flow of labor, and my doctor agreed that with a VBAC and my seemingly reluctant body that pitocin would lead to nothing but a c-section anyway. The issue with a VBAC is the scar from the previous c-section. An internal contraction monitoring device, in addition to monitoring baby's heart rate, is important to provide reassurance the scar does not tear during labor.
Well, the week before December 9 (a week past due date) I started feeling some contractions at bedtime. Then, on Saturday night, they came about every 10-12 minutes and continued at that consistency throughout Sunday and Sunday night. At our checkup Monday morning, I was so excited to share that I HAD actually felt contractions... and my doctor was excited too... but my body hadn't changed a whole lot. SO -- we scheduled the c-section for the next morning but kept hoping and praying for the VBAC. (I know, I know -- what a contrast -- c-section or all-natural VBAC.) I felt very conflicted, but prayed God would make the path clear for us.
Well... God rescued! Throughout that afternoon my contractions became more intense and closer together. My husband took me to the hospital at 5:30, where I timidly said, "I think I'm in labor." They checked, and an hour later we were admitted for a VBAC, with a requested nurse who would serve as my advocate against pitocin or an epidural. I felt so thankful... and so TERRIFIED!!! God gave me what I asked for -- at THE perfect time. I felt like a little David approaching a huge giant. Well, no... maybe Moses approaching Pharoah. God had confidence in me. GULP! WOULD I BE ABLE TO DO IT?!
God provided strength through my wonderful husband, who stood by my side the entire time. Through every contraction, he held my hand and looked in my eyes and counted. I knew I could make it through because by the time he got to 25, I came to realize the pain would dissipate. As the pain intensified, he continued to reassure me of his confidence in me and my hopes to overcome the labor and delivery. He never gave up or weakened in encouragement.
God made me courageous by providing the perfect nurse for our situation. She had a child via VBAC. Her son's birthday was the next day, what we assumed would be our child's birthday (but he came on the forward side of midnight, so it wasn't). That "coincidence" assured me God provided her for this right time. God was with me. She brought me pillows and a heating pad. She helped me get on all fours and told me to wiggle my hips to get through the contractions of back pain. (Awesomely effective position) By the time I felt the unbearable pain of transition contractions, I was discussing an epidural. Okay, not discussing -- pleading for one. Haha -- The nurse and my husband told me they saw the change in my eyes once transition started. I felt possessed by a demon of pain. The pain was so strong and returned so quickly; I was TERRIFIED! She squarely said, "Nope, you're almost done, and you'll regret it if you get an epidural. Just take it one contraction at a time. Most women feel better when they can start pushing because it'll feel like you're fighting back." I latched on to that last part. Oh, Lord, I sincerely prayed (and screamed several times), please get me there soon! (I remember asking if it was okay to scream. Ha! Ha!)
God delivered me. We were admitted into the hospital about 6:30, an hour after we arrived and they confirmed my labor. Shortly after, they broke my water. I was unaware of the time, but when I measured at 6 centimeters (and not yet in total misery) the nurse told me that our baby didn't have a lot of hair. I think it's cool she could touch our baby while he was still in my tummy. (And we didn't yet know his gender.) That gave me momentum. At 10:15, when I was in utter AGONY from the clenching pain of transition contractions, the nurse checked me and determined I was 8 centimeters dilated. She estimated I would be able to push in an hour or two. That much longer with the pain?! I began to doubt my courage. Our second son ("It's a BOY!) was born at 10:33 -- less than 20 minutes later!!!
Right after she said I was at 8 cm and that the on-call doctor would arrive soon, I told our nurse I felt like I needed to push and poop (sorry--part of it). I remember a look of skepticism on her face. She checked. Yep! I was already complete at 10 cm and the baby's head was right there!
She and the other nurses told me several times to blow instead of push (which I may have rebelliously ignored a couple times closer to go-time), and got on their hustle, wheeling in all kinds of equipment (including a spotlight. That cracks me up.) Becky, our nurse, told me that the on-call doctor would not make it in time, so Dr. Sahini, the little Indian MAN serving as the hospital's laborist, would have to catch our baby. People, this is the most amusing part for me... There is a reason I chose a doctor in a medical practice of solely female physicians. I am so thankful God gave me a sense of humor about it. I am still chuckling about how the throes of labor helped me let go of lots of my anxieties. One thing mattered in the moment: GET THIS BABY SAFELY OUT OF ME AND STOP THE PAIN! God bless Dr. Sahini.
I won't go into details, but pushing and delivery were pretty amazing to me. I pushed only about 10 minutes. One time I let out an Amazon scream. It felt so good to yell that loudly in the most intense action of my life. "I AM WOMAN!. See what God made my body able to do!" it roared. -- But then Becky brought me back and told me to take a breath, hold it, and push again.
They placed our baby in my arms. JOY. TOTAL JOY.
They had already prepared my husband to call the gender. I saw at the same time he said, "It's a boy! Oh, look at our precious boy!" I laughed. I cried. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. My husband held me and gazed in amazement at our newest child too.
"God is good. God is so good." I couldn't stop feeling it and saying it. "Thank you, Father-God."
After that, I was in paradise. The pain was gone. My baby was in my arms, healthy and whole.
They took his APGAR score and made him less slippery and handed him back to me. I remember the nurses all commenting on how pink and healthy he was -- something we read in our Bradley book. I got to breastfeed him for 40 minutes before they took him to weigh and bathe. I nursed his older brother until this past September, when he was 34 months old. It is one of my favorite things to do/be/experience.
I still have to process this experience to glean those spiritual insights I craved. In the meantime, I just feel blessed by God's strong presence in the circumstances and his amazing quality of providing an abundant amount of success in courage and generosity in advocates (my husband and nurse and praying friends) where I had only a meager willingness to attempt it.
