Marathon Prep, Life Determination, and That Foot

Lord-willing, I will be running in my first full-marathon on Saturday, April 9, which is coming up in about seven weeks. Last Friday I ran eighteen miles in my training plan, which is the most I have ever run in one setting. The more training I experience for this race, the more I appreciate every tiny mental and physical detail of my preparation. I also become more aware of how concepts like planning in light of endurance, determination and its affect on specific aspects of success, perseverance over exhaustion or doubt, and faith through unknown variables play a part in all of my life -- from my faith, to my wifehood, to my parenting, to our future plans.

Planning out my weekly activities involves following the training plan I downloaded at CoachJenny.com, as well as tweaking it based on how I feel from workout session to workout session. Since this is my first full-marathon, I am following a beginner plan. Since I have had more success in my first two half-marathons than I expected before my racing adventures began, I have also been asking experienced acquaintances for advice about pushing myself a little farther than the beginner training plan takes me. Not much farther, because I don't want to hit THE WALL, but just a little. Not knowing what the future holds (my ignorance of what it will actually feel like to go 26.2 miles, whether the weather will be cool or way too warm that day, if I will have to nurse sensitive almost-injuries, etc.), drives me bananas. This requires so much self control in my thoughts and in my body. I keep reading about how I have to hold myself back for most of the race to make it until the end, but I also want to push myself just a little because I will be right on the line of qualifying for Boston at this marathon. Right.on.the.line. Unless it's hot, and then I will just be happy to finish and survive. Ha! What is the balance between taking risks and playing it safe?! I ask myself this as I plan for our homeschool, as we talk about building a cabin, when it comes to making new friends in this crazy world of wireless connections. Bah!

Determination is so important to persevering toward success. Running is truly a joy for me, so it's easy to commit to it. I won't say getting up in the dark mornings is easy, but I know I'll enjoy it, so envisioning it ahead of time helps me do it. Knowing which day requires which workout (recovery run or cross-training or speed session or long run, etc.) and where I will be (either in my running room or outside or at a gym) and at what time specifically helps me succeed. Vision is so important to my success, being able to play it out in my head and imagine everything gets me there, even/especially when it's hard because of tiredness or weakness. And committing to this over a period of time, for the last half of my  reminds me how much better it feels to do it than not to do it.

Faith through the unknown variables has become such a challenge for me mentally, and it makes me so emotional. Bah! I mentioned it before, but I am so nervous because I can't predict or control the weather for race day. In a Tennessee April, the day could be cloudy and 55 or 60 OR it could be sunny and 85. The temperature will certainly affect my speed that day. It could make a half-hour or more difference in my finishing time. Bah! But I guess that's kinda what makes it fun too -- the challenge, right?

Okay, so I have two half marathons under my belt : 01:45:15 in October 2015 and 01:38:00 in February (this year:2016). I can qualify for the Boston Marathon if I complete the full in 03:35:00, and I need to get it in at least two minutes less than that, hopefully three or more, because they have started cutting off the qualifying time to accommodate ALL the qualifiers. I didn't even consider this a possibility until I did well at my halfs. Before, I just wanted to finish in under four hours. If it's a cool day, I really do think I have a chance to qualify, but if it's hot... whew! The BIG IF! I will just keep training and enduring through discomfort and do my best on that day. And I can always keep trying. Looking forward, always looking forward, intentionally crawling out of pits of self-pity or -doubt.

My foot. That foot. The one that bothered me during my first half-marathon. Oh, that foot. I think it's plantars fasciitis, but, honestly, it isn't THAT bad, it's just almost bad. It has been bugging me this week, since my eighteen-miler. I know I'll have to nurse it through the marathon with ice and stretching. The good news is that it is stronger because I didn't feel at all during my second half-marathon training. It can handle more mileage and speed... I'll just keep running and pushing the limits.

Preparing for this marathon is helping me deal with the marathon of life. Parenting is challenging. Planning for my children's futures (homeschool, sports, friends, etc.)  and overcoming my anxieties of being around new people (so that hopefully my kids won't struggle in that) are huge deals for me. I am exhausted. But if I can push from mile 16 to 18, even though all the muscles in my body just wanna crash, then I can talk to that new person or learn about this new thing. Right??? Running is way easier than life.

God's words, the words of LIFE, have some pretty good advice based on running metaphors. I want to reiterate every single time that I talk about my faith and running that I don't feel like God needs to me to win to achieve HIS glory. Running is a tangible practice in my life to learn more about God's goodness and grace for me and the world in so many aspects. The following passages are as true to my everyday, mundane mom life as they are to my running. More importantly, they are true for my faith as it faces all sorts of cynicism and doubt and failure (from within and without). Thank you, Father, for living in me and not giving up on me. The sky is the limit. I am where I am today, and I want to walk with You in all the tomorrows, where'er You lead me.

Hebrews 12:1-2:: Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Philippians 3:14-16::  I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. 16 Only let us hold true to what we have attained.

1 Corinthians 9: 24-27:: Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. 25 Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. 26 So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. 27 But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

Second Half-Marathon and Being Real About God and Awkwardness

My second half-marathon was this past Saturday in the Cedars of Lebanon Tennessee State Park. I set a personal record (PR) of more than seven minutes since my first half back in October. I finished with an official chip time of 01:38:00. I was the second woman in my age group; seventh woman overall; and 56th person out of the 592 who raced that beautiful day! I am so pumped to continue training for the Andrew Jackson Full Marathon in April.

The boys and Justin came with me this past weekend. It was a 2.5-hour drive, so we made a weekend of it. We got to do some fun things together, and we got to see "old" friends.

Communicating adequately about my running has become an earnest prayer of mine. I am such an awkward person. Seriously you guys, I have been having very serious talks with God, slamming my fists on the steering wheel kind of serious, in wihch I beg Him to help me overcome my awkward interactions, whether in writing or real-life. Who cares if I'm awkward? Aren't we all! I just really want people to feel beloved by God after being around me -- and I am unsure if that's the case because I always say the wrong thing, if I even know what to say at all. I realize people these days are really into the self-deprecating humor of sharing the metaphorical junk drawer -- which has a needed place in connecting to each other graciously. But I also really like to excel. And I really want other people to realize their potential. We influence each other so much. What if we all went out believing I can run THAT fast  or I can say NO to THAT temptation or I can make THIS good thing work for my family? The sky is the limit, and I don't want anyone putting a glass ceiling over my head, stopping me from achieving God's best. I am a perfectionist. Which is the best and worst thing about me (Sometimes I win; other times I hide in bed because I am afraid to lose). I think that is true for all of us: the best thing about us can easily become the worst thing, if we don't give it to God and work to connect with others through His love, whatever THAT thing is.

I want to share the specifics of my running success because I am still the same old dorky, awkward Nicoll. I mean, compared to elites and Olympians I am still a slow poke. Compared to a lot of average people I am not (yet) the fastest; but I am surprising myself. If I can run like this, then any physically capable person who sets their mind to it can as well. God has granted my requests for passion and confidence; He continues to help me overcome my agonizing daily battles with negativity and self-annoyances. My running is one external example of HIS work inside my heart. But I know when I share speecifics, it can come across as bragging. So then I try to include a genuine response to God's role in something that has become a blessing to me and my sweet family, those sweet darlings who have to interact with me on a daily basis, whether that's a smooth or rough way from day-to-day! But when I share something about God's role in my running I don't want to water-down His immense power to achieving athletic success. Because I really don't think Christ's possibilities over everything exist so that big men can win the SuperBowl. It may be part of that... BUT I think Christ's power affects everything about our lives, ESPECIALLY our hearts. What is in our hearts?

Fear or Courage?
Faith or Doubt?
Faith overcoming Doubt?
Doubt squashing Faith?
Betterment tackling Bitterness?
Bitterness consuming Betterment?
Perseverance through loss?
Kindness through success?

Growing closer to God as He connects us to people and circumstances in which we have to make choices that will continue to shape our hearts is the point of every day. Whether you are a healthy person trying to win races, or whether you're a sick person just trying to get through this season, or whether you're in a relationship that strains your faith and your love in every way, or whether you have food to feed your family, or whether you don't know how your child will eat today, or whether you are trying to reach out to people in a system that makes it awkward or complicated, or whether God gave you people skills that immediately calm every heart in the room with a positive vibe -- the characteristics I want to display through my running are those any person in any circumstance can seek and find. Because we each need them for whichever specific trial we are facing right now -- and God makes those characteristics available to any of us, whether we are the rich person on the hill or the person in prison. Each of us has Light to shine, wherever we are.